The warmest time of the year brings excitement and mischief into our lives. Helgi Saldo advises how to recognize the highs and lows of a great summer romance.
1. A MEET-CUTE
Whether you first meet them by a happy accident or discover that your high school friend is looking kind of hot recently, the beginning will set the tone for your escapade.
You might find yourself swiping right by mistake or picking up an iced coffee that wasn’t meant for you, only to be drowning in your new lover’s eyes moments later. But don’t bother throwing yourself at people just for the sake of it — a romance can never be forced.
In the case you get a green light from someone you already know, be careful taking a dump where you eat. It’s no fun dragging the past well into a new season with you.
2. A SENSE OF EXCITEMENT
Now, all it might take to find your summer love is patience and endurance. Those of us who are less lucky may benefit from venturing to a different city, joining a random protest on the street, or perhaps going to a festival they’ve never been to.
Exciting things rarely happen when you keep treading the same path, so you should get at least a little uncomfortable. However, there’s a fine line between an adventure and a traumatic experience. Sometimes, the excitement is just anxiety in disguise, so beware of red flags and don’t get trapped in a cult.
3. THERE ARE OBSTACLES
It’s an old adage that absence makes the grow fonder, just as challenge is the heart of any exciting romance. Things that may keep it on its toes with urgency and drama are plenty: maybe your lover is a tourist in town just for the weekend; maybe they’re in a polyamorous situationship with their cousin. Perhaps both.
Either way, it’s good to keep the obstacles external and fun, like a language barrier, a victimless crime, or a picnic ruined by a thunderstorm. Spending time with an emotional hermit crab who keeps talking about their ex or getting trapped in a cult can be a little too tricky.
4. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TRY TOO HARD
As much as challenges give a necessary impetus, they should never be too herculean to overcome. That’s just annoying. The point of a summer romance is getting you to experience an unexpected version of both the world and yourself, not wear you out like a marathon.
There’s a chance this version of yourself is a little cringe and annoying, but if that’s what comes effortlessly then so be it. Be wrong, get crazy. Just give yourself a nudge and let life strike the balance for you — just make sure life isn’t throwing any charismatic leaders at you.
5. IT HAS AN ENDING
Whatever the beginning, nothing defines a romance quite like how it ends. Having a due date is the key, a finish line in sight from the get-go. Embrace it. Knowing you won’t have to spend the rest of your life with that person is exactly what frees you up to be yourself without the fear of an endless horizon.
Sure, you might as well end up as friends by the end. Or become enemies or lose contact altogether. But as long as you both learn from the experience and remember all the good and cringe bits you’ve been through, the knowledge it all ends won’t hurt you in the long run.
Have fun!
